i paint i write

Live boldly, laugh and make art

January first is a magical red number day, where all my bad habits will go away

  January first is three days away. January first is a magical red number day, where all my bad habits will go away. I will make a list of activities I am resolved to  start on January first. The start of the year is the best day to start a new habit.  I will stop sleeping late and […]

How to find rest in real life, not The Game of Life

  Christmas Day was two days ago. I shut the door to the laundry room.  I was going to rest and enjoy the day. There was no rest, I still had to cook and eat. There were dirty dishes, there was still life to deal with. Real life, not the game of Life we bought […]

The teacher was in front of her students

In first grade my teacher was trying to teach us the meaning of two phrases: behind, and in front of. “Would the person in front of Mary answer this question?” Mary sat in front of me. I sat behind Mary. However, I was in front of Mary from the teacher’s point of view. The words […]

Do you have a dream to be a writer? Did you know you already are?

I have always wanted to be a writer. I wrote stories when I was in grade school. I wrote stories in college. I wrote stories after I graduated. My stories were filed in the  cabinet under: Pamela Writing. No one  read my stories. I had no feed back. In January of this year I started […]

The Mystery of the grocery list in the parking lot

I saw the folded piece of paper at my feet when I went to put my groceries in the back of my van. It was folded neatly in half and half again. I found it at 4:32 PM on a fall day in Pennsylvania. I was with my youngest daughter. I don’t know if I would […]

Today I cried

  I  have never cried for eight year old me. Today I cried. Today I cried for the girl with the pink bedspread. Today I cried for Annalisa and Pilar and Shelley and Lisa and Renee and Robin. Today I cried for you. I cried tears for the sad in me and the sad in you. […]

“Mommy, I have a secret.”

  I called my mother and asked her if she remembered when I told her my secret; the secret I had promised, the man we called Uncle Carl, to keep. She said, “I remember, you told me a few days after he left.” I remember telling her. I remember what I said. I have a […]

Weekly Photo Challenge – Thankful

    I am thankful for my feet. My feet can take me out of a room. My feet can walk into another room. My feet can move fast if I am in a hurry.  My feet move me into the future away from my past. I am thankful for my feet.

Uncle Carl was not my uncle.

(WARNING- Adult content) I slept on the outside edge of my brothers bed and I waited for  the man we called Uncle Carl to come and wake me.  I wore my two piece pyjamas.  My brother slept  against the wall. Uncle Carl touched my shoulder as I lay sleeping with my brother. The irritation of his […]

Uncle Carl molested me when I was eight

( WARNING – Adult content) I have been avoiding writing some of my stories. It is easy to write about losing my hammer.  It is easy to write about finding my iron. It is hard for me to write about what happened in my bedroom behind a closed-door in 1966. I started to write a […]