i paint i write

Live boldly, laugh and make art

How Far Can You Throw A Can Of Tuna?

Last night I stuck my hand in the pantry door and grabbed a can of tuna. Did you notice I did not say, ” I opened the pantry door and then put my hand in?” I am getting careless and leaving doors open again.  My friend Rebekah flew from Boulder Creek California on December 5th, 2010, to Gilbertsville Pennsylvania to help me unpack. When she was here, she unpacked boxes and gave me solid advice.   She advised me  I needed to keep my cupboard doors shut.  All of the Five Hodges would open cupboard doors and leave them open.  I wonder if I left the cupboard doors open so I could look at my pretty new dishes?

Well, dear Rebekah, there is another reason to close cupboard doors besides smacking your head on an open door when you walk by.

I reached in the open cupboard door and took out a 7 oz, 198 gram, can of The Best Tuna, Chicken of The Sea, Chunk Light Tuna in Water, naturally 99% Fat Free, High In Protein can of tuna.  I brought the can out of the cupboard within seven inches of my nose. (I know how close the can of tuna was to my nose, as I went back and recreated the traumatic incident I am about to tell you about and measured the distance from the edge of  the can to my nose.)

On the edge of the can was a tan-colored  bug with two heads.  My response to the bug was immediate , without thought, instinctive and loud. ” Ahhhhhhhhhh”, I screamed as I tossed the can away from me. Tonight I tried to measured where I saw the can land. I threw the can six feet, three inches.  When the tuna can hit the floor the bug was knocked off of it. I could see the bug crawling on the kitchen floor from where I stood in front of the cupboard.

I got down on my knees and looked at the bug.

“Hey kids, come and see the bug that was on the can of tuna!” I yelled.

“It has two heads mom,” they said.

The bug had two heads. One of the ends was dragging the other end around. Oh….  there were two bugs. The bugs were mating. They crawled back on the tuna can, while we stared at them.  Can you see the dent on the can?

I don’t know where the mating bugs are.  We did not step on the bugs, or put them outside. We left them alone on the tuna can.  I took a different can of tuna out of the cupboard and finished making my tuna salad. Several hours later when I picked up the can from the floor, the bugs were gone. Hopefully they did not return to the cupboard.

I wonder why the bugs liked the can of tuna better than the can of garbanzo beans or the crushed tomatoes or the Tiny Tot sardines that were in the cupboard. Did the bugs know that the can of tuna contains Omega 3 and is Heart Healthy?  They did like the dark cupboard.

I was going to write, that I am keeping my cupboard doors closed now. A nice little ending, where I have learned my lesson.  However, as I was about to type that my cupboard doors are closed, I looked up from the dining room table into the kitchen and  saw the cupboard door where the tuna cans are is wide open.

Excuse me, I will be right back … I just closed the cupboard doors.

How far can you throw a can of tuna?


About Pamela Hodges

My name is Pamela Hodges. I am a writer and an artist. I write to encourage and to bring laughter. I paint cats, draw cartoons and write books for children and grown ups.

You are an artist. Yes, you are. Really.

Feature Box

Get the FREE illustrated, sort of a comic book, “You Are An Artist.” Believe in yourself and your ability to draw. xo Pamela

  • Good idea to keep your doors closed but I don’t think that would keep out the bugs as they would probably crawl under the door. I’d have to move anyway so it wouldn’t matter !!

  • Rebekah Crill

    Leave it to you to write about mating bugs! Love it!
    Keep the cupboard doors closed!

    • pamelahodges

      Doors are closed. I don’t want any more bugs in there fooling around.