i paint i write

Live boldly, laugh and make art

Masking Tape On My Mouth

I have not written in six days. I feel like my mouth is covered with masking tape. I want to write a story, but I can not open my mouth. I try to write, but the words that I want to say, won’t come out.

The words are hidden.

I want to write a story. I want to tell you what happened to me when I was eight and a family friend came to visit. No, he was not a friend. He said he was a friend. He lied.

Jeff Goins, a writer, says to not avoid painful writing. He said, “Don’t hide your scars. Show them.”

I will leave the tape on my mouth today.

I am going to sit in my closet and write in the dark. I will write my story. I won’t hide my scars. I will show my scars.

I will show my scars, but not today.

 

 

 

 

About Pamela Hodges

I write slice of life stories to help you know you are loved, valuable and worthy just as you are. I am a writer, an artist, and a cleaner of seven litter boxes. I live in Pennsylvania with one husband, four cats, one dog and two birds.

You are an artist. Yes, you are. Really.

Feature Box

Get the FREE illustrated, sort of a comic book, “You Are An Artist.” Believe in yourself and your ability to draw. xo Pamela

  • Annalisa

    Powerful words for not having the right words. I was 8 too.

  • I have thought about you since I read this last week and I have been praying for you. I still can’t find the right words, but I want you to know how valuable you are. I hope that your writing is healing – I know that your words have helped ME many times.

    • Pamela Hodges

      Thank you for your prayers, and your kind comments. I have started to believe that I am valuable. I know I am valuable because of what I read, but believing was the hard part. I have thought about writing more than actually writing this week. Writing to heal and hopefully to help others by being honest.

  • Such a POWERFUL post and picture. Wishing for you that the words come and are helpful to you. As you wrote above, this story is not who you are.

    • Pamela Hodges

      Thank you for your comments. The story is being written. I can come out of the dark.

  • You are so right about the hidden scars and the pain they cause. Something about sharing our thoughts, ideas, and yes, even our sorrows with others is helpful in allowing us to begin to heal. I don’t understand the entire psychological impact of having others support us when we are hurting; however, it is an age-old tradition that has stood the test of time. We’re out here – a virtual support system – as you share – or not -and wishing you REAL (not virtual) healing and peace –

    • Pamela Hodges

      I value your support and your comments. Telling my story gives me hope for tomorrow. I treasure my support system through the Slice Of Life. Thank you for your wish for healing and peace.

  • Pearle

    I have a similar scar from the “trusted” neighbor when I was 10. I truly understand, & I’m sad. Sad for myself, & people like us. Upset that no matter how overprotective I was w/y own children 1 was still violated & is scarred. This is not my home.

    • Pamela Hodges

      Thank you for your comments and for telling me you understand. I am sorry that your understanding comes from your own scars. I am sad for you and your child. Even after all these years, I still touched by the incident. I hope that my story will help others to heal from their scars.

  • Reading this makes me feel speechless…your words here are so strong, and your resolve to write your story and to show, not hide, yours scars, leaves me in awe. I hope the story written in the dark will bring a dawn of beautiful light to your heart.

    • Pamela Hodges

      A dawn of beautiful light. I like that. I have often believed that my story was my fault. I am taking the tape off of my mouth, and I hope that my scars will help someone else.

  • You have already begun to share your story in the most discrete way. But it’s there. If writing is healing, I and believe it is, then I hope you can write your story. The sharing part is up to you. The healing may happen either way, and that’s the important part, right?
    Hugs to you, Pamela.

    • Pamela Hodges

      Right, the healing is in the writing. Thank you for the hug.

  • Pamela,
    I am sorry you are suffering the pain from these scars. You will know when the time is right to share your story. Praying for you,
    Amy

    • Pamela Hodges

      Thank you for your prayers Amy. I will share the story. I am writing it. I hope it helps someone else.

  • lee

    Deciding which scars to show and when is always hard. Sometimes the best you can do is remove just a small piece of the tape.

    • Pamela Hodges

      Lee, I like that. Just reveal a small piece of the tape. The scar on my leg from skin cancer is visible, and sometimes it aches. The scars inside are invisible, but they still cause pain.

  • nancy

    It took me a while to get what I wanted out today and I’m not finished either. I welcome your powerful words. When you get them down…please email me. xo nanc

    • Pamela Hodges

      Thank you Nancy. I will go and read what you wrote. Thank you for the offer to send my story to you.

  • kipp

    There’s a song on the Christian radio station, that goes something like,
    “our scars show us where we’ve been, but NOT who we are.”

    Hoping that story gets written.

    • Pamela Hodges

      Thank you for sharing the song lyrics. I have to remember that it is not who I am. I have been working on the story for years. I just have to take the tape off of my mouth.

  • writekimwrite

    Praying for you to find your words.

    • Pamela Hodges

      Thank you Kim. I have the written the story in the dark. Now I need to share it. Thank you for your prayers.

  • Such a strong style.

    • Pamela Hodges

      Thank you Shelley.