i paint i write

Live boldly, laugh and make art

I destroyed a painting

A family of cats

In the basement when I was looking through a plastic tub of photographs, I found a photograph of a painting I ripped off  the frame and threw away.  The painting was three feet six inches by five feet eight inches. The painting was a self portrait  of me and my two oldest children as cats.

I was angry. I was depressed.

“I am not an artist. I am no good at painting.”  I ripped the painting off  the frame.  I rolled up the canvas and shoved it in the trash.

I kept the frame. There was hope in the frame. Maybe some day I would paint again. Maybe some day I would believe in myself.

The frame is back together.

I bought new canvas and stretched in on the frame. This year, I will paint a new painting.

I will start today.

I won’t rip this painting off and throw it away.  I believe in myself.

 “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”  Pablo Picass0


 A new painting

Have you every destroyed something  you created? 


About Pamela Hodges

My name is Pamela Hodges. I am a writer and an artist. I write to encourage and to bring laughter. I paint cats, draw cartoons and write books for children and grown ups.

You are an artist. Yes, you are. Really.

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Get the FREE illustrated, sort of a comic book, “You Are An Artist.” Believe in yourself and your ability to draw. xo Pamela

  • I want to see what you do with that big white canvas!

  • Victoria

    Usually when I draw or even write something I end up neatly folding the paper and tossing it away. I sometimes save things, but normally I end up regarding whatever I’ve drawn up as something that could have been better. (ugh)

    • pamelahodges

      Good Morning Victoria, thank you for your comment. Yes, whatever we draw or write, could be better. We could edit the story and take out words we don’t need, like, “that or it” and when we draw, we could have used more red in one corner or had the dog be blue instead of brown. I am reading Seth Godin’s book The Icarus Deception, and he talks about artists and the artists life. Hmm, I wonder why you neatly folded the paper and didn’t crumble it?

  • Brad Veitch

    Never threw a painting away. But, never painted either. I have given up on myself and said dumb stuff like I’ll never be good enough. So want to capture His painting of my life. Well, have started again with Tribe Writers being an important part. Thanks for another provocative post, Pamela. Keep helping me stay on track.

    PS the treadmill has stopped crying and is very happy!

    • pamelahodges

      Hello Brad, so happy to hear your have not given up on yourself. God made you special and He loves you very much. Tribe Writers is an important part isn’t it?

      My ping pong table Joola says hello to your treadmill. Joola is still crying.

  • When I was a young girl and I would draw I would often destroy what I thought was not good enough. Then later when I was about 15 I had a friend who was an artist. When I saw her work I stopped attempting any at all.

    • pamelahodges

      Anne, my dear friend, someone was whispering lies in your ear. You didn’t have to paint like your friend, you just needed to paint like you.
      If I had your address I would send you a small box of crayola crayons and a piece of paper.
      There are pictures inside of you just waiting for you to sit down and draw, just like there are stories and words inside of you waiting for you to sit down and write.

  • Didn’t many greats paint over their own work? lmc

    • pamelahodges

      Yes, La, I read somewhere that painters paint over their own work. The inner critic is harsh.