i paint i write

Live boldly, laugh and make art

A painting of Despair

A painting of Despair

Despair – X,  detail. Acrylic on canvas, size: 10 x 10 inches

The Painting of Despair - O

Despair – O, detail.  Acrylic on canvas, size: 10 x 10 inches

Despair is black.

DESPAIR is in all capital letters. 

Despair filled my thoughts. I felt hopeless.

My smile was cut out of a magazine and pasted on my face;  pretending  life was fine.

A smile from a magazine

“How are you?”


I wasn’t fine.

I was black.

The canvases I had painted with bright colors I covered  in black paint. I stabbed the canvas with a steak knife.  The paintings  called Hugs and Kisses had become Despair X and Despair O.

The back of the painting of Despair

The back of the painting, Despair X.

The back of Despair O.

The back of the painting, Despair O.

On a Sunday morning  at the end of the church service, I walked up to the front of the room and asked for someone to pray for me.

He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

The black paintings remind me of where I was; brokenhearted, without hope.

I don’t have to hide behind a smile.  The colors on the canvas are not covered by black paint.  My wounds are bound;  He healed my broken heart.

I am red.

XOXO painting

Hugs and Kisses 2, detail. Acrylic on canvas, size: 20 x 20 inches

Despair and Hope

About Pamela Hodges

My name is Pamela Hodges. I am a writer and an artist. I write to encourage and to bring laughter. I paint cats, draw cartoons and write books for children and grown ups.

You are an artist. Yes, you are. Really.

Feature Box

Get the FREE illustrated, sort of a comic book, “You Are An Artist.” Believe in yourself and your ability to draw. xo Pamela