Fourteen ways to make sure you never get anything done
Is there something you really want to do? A book you want to write? A fence you want to build? A dress you want to sew? A path you want walk on? Have you done it yet?
Someone asked me the other day if I wrote anything beside a blog. I said to her, “I am writing a book.” I realized I like to say, “I am writing a book.” But I haven’t actually been working on the book. I just like to talk about writing my book. I like to say,”I am doing it.” I could say that for years, and never finish my manuscript.
14 ways to make sure you never get anything done
1. Do not give yourself deadlines. Work on your project whenever you feel like. Don’t plan how to complete the project.
2. Watch television every night. Watching television relaxes you. You won’t have time to do anything else. You are too busy watching someone else’s life.
3. Say to yourself, “I will do it tomorrow.” There is a new tomorrow every morning, so every day you have an excuse to not create.
4. Don’t sit in front of your computer. If you sit down you may be tempted to write.
5. Do not tell ask anyone to hold you accountable. If someone encourages you, you may actually finish your project.
6. Go the mall every day and buy more clothes you don’t need. If you are shopping, you can’t dig post holes.
7. Stand in front of the mirror and think negative thoughts about yourself. Believe that you can’t do it.
8. Don’t order the supplies for your project. If you don’t have the supplies you can’t do the project. A good delaying tactic.
9. Absolutely eat poorly. Make sure you don’t feel healthy enough to do the work.
10. Stay up very late so that you are too tired to get anything done. It works for me.
11. Do not write down your goals. Keep you goals in your head, where it is easy to forget about them.
12. Read How To books. Spend years researching your topic. You will feel like you are doing something, and you won’t have to actually do it.
13. Keep changing your mind on what you want to do. You should be able to delay this way until you die.
14. One day your tank will be empty. There won’t be anymore gas to put in your tank, no more days to number. You will actually die. Was it worth it? Will you wish you had one more episode of Downton Abbey to watch? Or will you wish you had not delayed and finished something?
I am working on numbers 1, 3 and 11. Those numbers should keep me from ever editing my manuscript.
What number are you working on today?
About Pamela Hodges
My name is Pamela Hodges. I am a writer and an artist. I write to encourage and to bring laughter. I paint cats, draw cartoons and write books for children and grown ups.