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Why you shouldn’t compare yourself to other people

You were knit with an original pattern.

I wouldn’t mind being compared to a summer day’s by Shakespeare.  I like the idea of being more lovely and more temperate that a day in summer.

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thous art more lovely and more temperate. – William Shakespeare – excerpt from Sonnet 18

When I am shopping for a tree I  compare several trees before choosing one.

But, I don’t like to compare when the comparison causes me to feel inadequate.

Why you shouldn’t compare yourself to other people.

1. When you compare yourself to other people you feel depressed.
You look at your friend with the long thin legs, and you start to hate your legs. You wake up sad because someone is taller than you.
“Oh dear. She is taller than me. She must be better than me. I think I will go and hide in my closet.”  You have no control over the length of your legs. You do have control over your attitude. Get our of your closet, go for a walk and be grateful for two legs.

2.When you are depressed you stop believing in yourself.
You feel like you don’t measure up, so you stop trying. “Their writing is better than mine. Oh well, I won’t write anymore.”  If everyone wrote the same thing we would only have one book in the whole word to read. Life would be so boring with only one book. You have a story inside of you that only you can tell. If you don’t write your story, the world will be deprived.

3. When you stop believing in yourself a beautiful song is silenced.
Feeling inadequate takes away the joy of being alive. You look at what other people are doing and you think their work has more value.  “I just don’t measure up. I will stop smiling and frown instead.” Please start to smile again. Sing loudly and long, and be grateful for who you are. 

4.  When a beautiful song is silenced you stop dreaming .
When you keep looking at others you forget to think. You forget to think about your own dreams and desires. “I have no more dreams. I will just watch other people are doing.” If you keep looking at what others are doing all the time you may miss your own opportunities that are right in front of you. And if you are watching others walk you may trip over a root in your own path.

Remember not to compare.

When God knit you together in your mother’s womb he wasn’t looking at anyone else. You are not copied from another persons pattern. You are an original. God didn’t drop a stitch when he made you. God made you special and He loves you very much.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

Psalm 139: 13-14

You were knit with an original pattern.

Do you compare  yourself to other people? 

Please let me know in the comments. I would love to chat.



About Pamela Hodges

My name is Pamela Hodges. I am a writer and an artist. I write to encourage and to bring laughter. I paint cats, draw cartoons and write books for children and grown ups.

You are an artist. Yes, you are. Really.

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Get the FREE illustrated, sort of a comic book, “You Are An Artist.” Believe in yourself and your ability to draw. xo Pamela

  • Such an important message!
    Thank you!

  • Pingback: Comparison is the death of joy()

  • Pamela,

    In your Pamela-gifted way, you have spoken words of truth seasoned with love and grace. Excellent post.

    Yes, I have absolutely looked over my shoulder. Spent about 6 years in that place. For me, comparing myself with others enabled me to “hide” my secret sins. My justification, I don’t ____, like so-and-so. I don’t ____, like such-and-such.

    But when God exposed my sin, my duplicity at age 20–He royally humbled me. God turned the stadium lights on to illuminate my ____ sin.

    Then I realized my former method used the wrong plumb-line. No more comparing myself to Suzy Q. I’m an imperfect human, too.

    But compared to perfect Jesus . . . On my knees, God met me and restored my life, my hope, my dreams. He has grown me so crazily that–I will be gut honest with you–I accept my design, my story, my limitations, my gifts. Now I literally look into my mirror, create a silly song, and thank God for making me, Me.

    Amen, Psalm 139. What a wonder EACH ONE OF US is God-knit. I like to let my mind wander and wonder what our world would look like–how very, wonderfully different it would be–if every person loved the unique and special Lego-package God hand-picked each one of us to be.

    I often tell my kids, “You could tune my voice all day, but an Opera Singer, I will never be.”

    In case you’re interested, here’s a link to an older post I wrote on this subject: http://www.todaysladyvirtue.com/BlogRetrieve.aspx?PostID=553617&A=SearchResult&SearchID=3942801&ObjectID=553617&ObjectType=55.

    You are a blessing to this reader of your words! Love God’s gift, in-use in you. 🙂

    • Shannon, thank you for your honest and sincere response. I love your dirt smudged, honest face. God made you special and He loves you very much. I do too friend.

  • Pamela,

    This is a well written post, encouraging to many!

    I am way beyond comparing my self to others physically. I am still vulnerable when it comes to the spiritual and mental growth. It is not a comparisson exactly but rather an acknowledgement for my limitations and an admiration for others’.

    Blessings, Pamela!

    • Thank you Katina. Your words are an encouragement to many. I love reading what you write.

  • writekimwrite

    Psalm 139 always speaks to me. It is beautiful when we all sing the songs we were created to sing!

    • I never thought of our lives as songs to sing. Did you sing your song today Kim? I love reading your poetry.

  • Elsie

    You always give me something to ponder. I will try not to compare myself to others. I will try to be satisfied with who I am.

    • Elsie, you are are an original. I hope you are always satisfied with who you are.

  • Great post Pamela. Is that your knitting in the pic? You look good in green btw:)

    • Thank you Marilyn. The knitting in the photograph was done by my daughter. And I liked being green, thank you for the compliment.

  • Very well said, and btw, if you’re going to compare yourself to other people, don’t forget to compare yourself to people who have it really bad it one way or another. Comparing makes you (me) ungrateful.

    • Kathleen, you are so right. I want to grateful for what I have.

  • Well said, Pamela! Yes, I’ve been guilty of comparing myself to others. I have been trying to work on it though. Thanks for this encouraging post. 🙂

  • Robin Sheldon

    I think you are very right in not comparing yourself to others. It rarely turns out well. Unfortunately, I still do it. I have learned thought, that the trick is in seeing the good in yourself as well as in others! It’s not always easy but if you look for the good in others, there is no reason you can’t see it in yourself too!

  • JeNan Merrill

    We all need to remember this, and your reasons why are so true. I like #3 the best. We need more variety in the beautiful songs in this world!