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Making friends and keeping them – Happy 25th Anniversary Pam and Jerry Hogeweide

July 23, 1988. Taken by Pamela Fernuik

July 23, 1988.  Photographer –  Pamela Fernuik

Pam and Jerry invited me to their wedding. I met them a few days before they were going to get married on an island outside of Hong Kong. They were stationed with Youth With a Mission.

They were married on July 23rd, 1988.

I was living in Tokyo, Japan working as a commercial photographer, and had been visiting friends in Hong Kong. As a gift to Pam and Jerry I photographed their wedding in black and white and gave them the negatives and an album, which I mailed to them from Japan after I returned.

Then they moved, I moved.

I moved to California, got married, pregnant and went shopping at the Marina. Pam was working in the store. We both were nursing our first-born. Her daughter’s name is Rose. My daughter’s name is Piper.  She encouraged me to continue nursing. She encouraged me to continue walking with Jesus.

Then they moved, we moved.

We exchanged Christmas cards for a few years.

Then they moved, we moved.

A few months ago I saw her name in an on-line writing class I took, Tribe Writers. I sent her an e-mail and reconnected. She  blogs at www.pamhogweide.com and has written a book: Unladylike: Resisting the Injustice of Inequality in the Church

Friendships don’t ever end. The threads that get cut when we move are still there, waiting to be tied together again.

A good friend is a connection to life – a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.
― Lois Wyse

Happy Anniversary Pam and Jerry Hogeweide.

Thank you for sharing your special day with someone you just met. I will never forget your wedding, or you.

July 23rd, 1988. A happy quest.

July 23rd, 1988. A happy guest.



About Pamela Hodges

My name is Pamela Hodges. I am a writer and an artist. I write to encourage and to bring laughter. I paint cats, draw cartoons and write books for children and grown ups.

You are an artist. Yes, you are. Really.

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Get the FREE illustrated, sort of a comic book, “You Are An Artist.” Believe in yourself and your ability to draw. xo Pamela

  • JeNan Merrill

    What a great story of how friendships remain through years, moves, and distance. So glad you reconnected – and that you shared this story, too.

  • Pamela, you look about 16! You do have the same smile still. I was married in 1988 too.

    • Patricia, you are too kind. I was married in 1990. Hey, is it 25 years for you this year? Oh, and to think I teach my kids math. Ha.

  • “A good friend is a connection to life – a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.” This quote is a keeper. How wonderful that you’ve been able to keep up with Pam and pick up the threads whenever you meet again.

  • La McCoy


  • Iya Hannum

    My friend, I may be good at hugs, but you are clearly one of the best smilers I have ever seen (and, yes the squiggly red line lets me know that is not a word, but it should be) Thank you for writing things that bring joy to my life!

    • Dear Iya,
      Thank you for the best smiler award. ( I got a red squiggly line too.) I think I need to make you a Hugger Award.
      So happy this story and perhaps another story brings you joy. Writing daily to find meaning in the dirty dishes and cat barf. God cares about the details.

  • Brenna Michels

    This is an incredible story of how people are very intentionally brought into our lives…and how when this happens, the connections are long-lasting. Wow. I love the way you revealed the details…it kept me wanting more, yet so satisfying when I found out more :). You sound like such a neat woman! Best, b

    • Dear Brenna,
      God makes us all special, we just have to be brave and step out of our comfort zones.
      Thank you for thinking I am neat. Now I have to squish my inflated head back into my hat.
      God gave me a good friend. For that I am grateful. Now to keep her address if case I move and she moves!

  • margaret simon

    I love stories of connections. What a nice connection you made so many years ago and maintained as the years went by. So are you still photographing? I was a photographer in high school and have never really picked it up again. Now I point and shoot with an iPhone.

    • Hello Margaret,
      The only photographs I take now are for my blog, or to use as reference for paintings. It has been several years, decades? since I was paid to take photographs.
      I am so happy to not have someone telling me what to do. 🙂 How fun you were a photographer in high school.
      Did you develop your own film?

  • Diane Anderson

    Friendships don’t ever end. The threads that get cut when we move are still there, waiting to be tied together again.
    I love this thought so much! “We moved. They moved.”- that describes so many friendships of mine. It is so wonderful when they can be renewed, the threads tied back together.

    • And some friends are friends that have never met in person, only through shared writing. You are right, friendships never end.

  • Thanks Pamela!! So good that our paths intersected in Asia and continue to intersect these many years later. Love it!! And your gift of photography to us have been my fave photographs. I recently just scanned some of them for an anniversary art project I made for our bedroom. (did i ever send you that pic?)

    So cool that we are BOTH writing! YES! Though I have been on an extended blog rest, which, btw, I am just about to relaunch a renewed blog here any day now.

    Hopefully we will have our lives cross again in the flesh so we can see one another face to face. I somehow think that will happen.

    many blessings to you and yours from Us here in Portland!

    • You are very welcome Pam.

      So happy to be reconnected with you. I look forward to reading your writing on your renewed blog.

      One day we will see each other again and we can tie the threads together again.

      Hugs to you.