The first day of the New Year and I already screwed up
Yesterday I decided that in the New Year I would be perfect. I would always go to bed on time, leave no dirty dishes in the sink, and always brush and floss my teeth before I go to bed. I will not make any mistakes this year.
The start of a New Year is the best time to start over, to start a new resolution and try once again to be a perfect human being.
My goal this year is to do everything perfectly. If I can do everything perfectly. I will feel loved and receive my value and worth from my perfect behaviors.
Today is the first day of the New Year and I already screwed up.
I forgot to go to bed last night. I fell asleep in the chair by the fireplace watching a movie with my youngest daughter. I didn’t brush or floss my teeth last night. When I woke up at 5:12 a.m. I walked into the kitchen and looked in the sink. Oh horror!
There was a dirty green spatula in the sink. Five hours and twelve minutes into January 1st, and I already screwed up. I had food between my teeth and a dirty green spatula, my New Year’s resolution was already ruined.
I know I should have stood by the sink all night until everybody was in bed, so no one could use any dishes and get them dirty. This morning I will question all of the family members and ask who left the green spatula in the sink.
Perhaps I could just take fingerprints. Maybe no one will admit they did it.
If my worth is dependant on being perfect and never leaving a dirty dish in the sink,then I need to install electric sensors in the kitchen sink, so if someone tries to put a dirty dish in the sink after I have gone to bed, an alarm will sound and alert me, so I can rush downstairs and wash the dirty dish. I will also install a sensor beside my bed to go off when it detects food particles in my mouth.
A lot is a stake here.
Should I get my worth from trying to do everything perfectly? Should my worth come from clean teeth and a clean sink?
No, no and no.
Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
I don’t want to start this year with destructive thoughts.
We don’t have to be perfect. We just have to do the best we can.
I will go and brush and floss my teeth now and wash the green spatula.
Life isn’t about being perfect. Life is about doing our best.
Will you be kind to yourself this year and just try to do your best? Please tell me in the comments.
About Pamela Hodges
My name is Pamela Hodges. I am a writer and an artist. I write to encourage and to bring laughter. I paint cats, draw cartoons and write books for children and grown ups.