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Help! I am trapped in the kitchen with a puppy

 Trapped in the kitchen with a puppy

Help me. Please.

I am trapped in the kitchen with a puppy. My life is over. For the rest of my life I will have to live in the kitchen with a puppy. The puppy will never grow up.

The puppy will always be teething. It will  always chew on the wooden table, my shoes, my hands and my toes. If the puppy didn’t already have a name, Penny, I would name it from a list of Female Goat Pet Names.

For the past ten days I have been trapped in the kitchen with a puppy. The puppy can not get out unless we take her out. 

If the puppy sniffs the floor it has to pee. She sniffs the floor after she drinks, after she wakes up from a nap, after she eats, after she chases a ball, after she looks at one of our four cats, after she scratches her nose, and after she blinks twice.

For the rest of my life I will have to go outside every five minutes to let the puppy pee. Her bladder is the size of a marble.

Will the puppy ever grow up? Will the puppies bladder ever get bigger? Will she ever stop teething?

Will I ever be able to clean my basement?

Please encourage me in the comments. I need encouragement. I need a light at the end of the tunnel. Or at the end of the hallway leading into the kitchen.

 

 

About Pamela Hodges

My name is Pamela Hodges. I am a writer and an artist. I write to encourage and to bring laughter. I paint cats, draw cartoons and write books for children and grown ups.

You are an artist. Yes, you are. Really.

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Get the FREE illustrated, sort of a comic book, “You Are An Artist.” Believe in yourself and your ability to draw. xo Pamela

  • Ah… I am sorry I’m just now getting to this post. I haven’t had much time for reading or writing lately. Your puppy will eventually grow up. I remember having a half lab/ half golden retriever puppy when I was young. It didn’t take long for him to turn into an outdoor dog. I did buy him a very nice dog house though. Do you think Pooh would relieve you for a short break? Maybe he can give Penny some instruction on household etiquette. 🙂

    • Hello Anastacia,
      The puppy is now “mostly” potty trained, and I have been let out of the kitchen.
      Pooh has been helping train the puppy, so all is well. 🙂

  • TWO YEARS!!! that’s how long it takes for puppies to grow up. Unlike people. Some never grow up.
    Sweet sister, I missed your stories and humor.

    • OH MY! I am at least out of the kitchen now, and realize I am living with a goat. She eats everything.
      I may never grow up, but at least I don’t eat the back of my shoes.
      Thank you for missing my stories. 🙂

  • GirlGriot

    I promise, dear Pamela, that puppies grow up! I wish we lived closer. I would come and offer respite care so you could escape the kitchen … at least for a little while. Is it any consolation to know that Penny is totally adorable?
    ~Stacie

    • Thank you Stacie,
      I have finally been let out of the kitchen. Your offer to help if you lived closer was like an offer of water in the Sahara Desert. And, yes, it does help that Penny is adorable. 🙂

  • Gholamhossein

    Hello my dear sister Pamela
    You have been write this
    story very beautiful. And it was Pleasurable for me.
    It is clear that you are
    a Particular person. And you have a good future. By the grace of God.
    Warning!!!
    Our Prophet said: at per
    home that live a dog. Don’t arrive Angels at to that home.
    Then take the puppy to
    yard. Because don’t accepted your Prayer.
    Tank you that you answer to my
    comments

    • God said, nothing can separate me from his love.
      A dog will not keep my prayers from being answered.
      The dog stays in the house.
      Thank you for your concern. But all is well.

  • Cathy Mere

    Oh my goodness, this did make me laugh! The good news is I don’t think you’ll be trapped there forever, but the bad news is it could be a rough few months. Your lead paragraph really drew me into your story. Fun read!

    Cathy

    • Hello Cathy,
      The puppy finally let me out of the kitchen. Now I can reply to your comment. 🙂
      Glad it was a fun read.

  • MaryAnne

    Recently, my puppy went to doggie heaven, I miss her ….tremendously .
    But i don’t miss picking up the poop, pee and throw-up from the floor.
    We rescued her 14 years ago. I loved her very much. Her name was Olive.
    And she looked a bit like Toto. She would follow me everywhere around the house.
    Hang in there Pamela, lasting relationships take time and are so worth the time and effort you will put into this pup. Be patient.

    • MaryAnne, I am so sorry about the death of your sweet Olive. She sounds like she was good company and a sweet puppy.

      Thank you for encouraging me to hang in there. The puppy has already been good company when I needed someone to sit with me when I was sad. A dog loves unconditionally. I will put up with being locked in the kitchen for the love of a dog.

      A hug for you today.

  • Diane Andeson

    Never having successfully potty trained a puppy, can’t offer any good advice, but I thought you wrote convincingly about the problem, so maybe someone else will have just the right suggestion. I do think it’s going to be great when the puppy does grow up…you can tell how much you love that puppy, so Penny will be a very loyal pet, I’m sure!
    Anne’s idea is the best!! I imagine a lot of people are going to benefit from that!

    • Hello Diane,
      The puppy is good company, and I know she will grow up. Some days it seems like she never will. But we all grow up eventually, don’t we?
      Doing a lot of praying in the kitchen!

  • Valerie Hoy

    This is hilarious! I love how you keep repeating with such conviction that you will be doing this for the rest of your life. You won’t, you know, but it makes a good story.

    • Hello Valerie,
      Today was a better day, I was able to get out of the kitchen!
      It does seem like it will be forever, but even babies in diapers learn how to go to the bathroom by themselves.

  • Berdeane Bodley

    It must be some Mothering instinct you are going through, your kids are all out of diapers, pretty much on their own & you get this uncontrollable urge to get a “puppy”, who wanted it, you or your child?? Who is looking after it???? If your child wanted it then I would say it is their responsibility, that is the only way they learn…….then again…..what do I know???

    • Hi Mom,
      We all wanted another dog. And we share the responsibility. And today I even got to go out of the kitchen. I walked the dogs. 🙂

  • La McCoy

    Dear Mrs Hodges,
    Mom was being negative. This is me Edelweiss.
    We doggies grow bigger, but we don’t grow up. I don’t think people do either.
    …..
    I was going to tell you a story about my dad but mom wont type it.
    Pretty Much us doggies do get bladders that are easier to handle. I can wait all day while Mom is gone. But I am an old doggie now.
    Dogies always like to Chew. Get her lots of chews. Teething gums hurt. Rub ice on them.
    I would not know about cleaning your basement. IT is probably a pretty good smelling place.
    Edelweiss
    Puppy Advocate

    • Hello Edelweiss,
      Thank you for your wise council.
      I am so curious what you wanted to say about your dad. Maybe you can tell Pooh later.
      Hmm, so doggies always like to chew. I will have to protect the trees in the backyard from the puppy.
      You are welcome anytime to help me clean my basement Edelweiss.
      xo
      Pamela

    • La McCoy

      Dear Mrs Hodges,
      I never really hung out with my dad. He would bark orders at the kennel where i was born but i really did not get to do much with him.
      I remember my Mother. She taught us (all my doggie brothers and sisters) perfect doggie German. She gave us delicious food.
      Mom came and got me when I was only 3 weeks old.
      She says my dad was my uncles brother. That is why mom came for me. She says my uncle was a great doggie too.
      Love
      Edelweiss

  • La McCoy

    no. No , No and no

    • Oh dear Laura,
      I may be in the kitchen for the rest of my life. Well, at least I won’t have to clean the basement.

  • This too shall pass, Pamela. Use your time trapped in the kitchen to pray for whomever God puts on your mind. Those are my two cents.

    • Thank you Anne,
      I like your idea. I will pray.
      And your advice was worth more than two cents.