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If you were a pair of shoes what would you be?

My husband and I were invited to a  reception for a new office building. We were in the car and almost out of our development, on our way to the reception,  when I said, “I am having a lot of anxiety.

He asked me, “Do you want to go?”

“No, I want to go home.”

My husband drove back to the house.

Comparison is the death of joy.
― Mark Twain

In the driveway, while we were still in the car, I said,”I don’t want to go because I don’t feel like I am dressed right. I have on boots. I am not wearing a dress or heels.”

He said, “Wear whatever you want. Be yourself.”


2014-10-25 20.12.22


We backed out of the driveway and went to the reception.

I cannot say this too strongly: Do not compare yourselves to others. Be true to who you are, and continue to learn with all your might.
― Daisaku Ikeda, Discussions on Youth

Why is it hard sometimes to feel confident in who we are? Why is it hard to be ourselves? Why do we compare our shoes and the clothes we wear to what other people wear?

I looked at the shoes on the women’s feet at the party. Their were open-toed shoes, very high heels, flat shoes, dress shoes, sneakers and one pair of black Doc Martens. Mine.

My shoes become me. What is in my closet? What shoes are me?

If you were a pair of shoes what would you be? 

Deborah would be a pair of Dansko Clogs and Diane would be a pair of boots. Chris said, “I would be a pair of soccer sandals. Easy to put on, convenient, and perfect for the on-the-go but not fitness-oriented dude.” Kathleen would be a pair of Teva flipflops and Lotta would be a pair of zipper boots.

If everyone was barefoot but everyone wore hats we would compare what was on our head to everyone else.

Do I fit in? Is my hat acceptable? Her hat cost more money than my hat. Her hat is more feminine. Her hat is cuter. Her hat is a prettier color.

The desire to know the rules and to wear the hat that fits. Or the shoe. Or the dress. Or the suit.

What are the rules?

Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.
― Shannon L. Alder

The rule is: There are no rules. Wear your heels, your Dansko clogs, your boots, soccer sandals your Teva flipflops and your zipper boots. It doesn’t matter what you wear. Be yourself. And as Shannon L Adler said, “Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.”

In what ever fits your foot.

If you were a pair of shoes what would you be? As always I love to hear from you. Please click here to comment.

About Pamela Hodges

I write slice of life stories to help you know you are loved, valuable and worthy just as you are. I am a writer, an artist, and a cleaner of seven litter boxes. I live in Pennsylvania with one husband, four cats, one dog and two birds.

You are an artist. Yes, you are. Really.

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Get the FREE illustrated, sort of a comic book, “You Are An Artist.” Believe in yourself and your ability to draw. xo Pamela

  • Kiki

    I would be a pair of thick leather boots (preferably early Born), durable, built to handle any kind of weather. I would also be a pair of leather sandals, with 1.5-2.0″ heels, that I can run for fun in if necessary, but are also light and airy. Both of these really reflect who I am at the core, down-to-earth, strong, classic, and easygoing.

    • Kiki,
      How liberating to know what kind of shoes you are. Practical, strong and bold.
      All my best,

  • Kelsey Lee

    I love this entry. However, I would be two different pairs of shoes… kind of like two different lives in a way. The first are Michael Kors shiny red heels. In fact, I’m wearing them today. I love these because I feel confident, which fits my go-getter daily determination to get as much done in the shortest amount of time.
    Alternatively, are the TOMS ‘wrap’ boot. I found this gem of a shoe just a few days ago at a vintage clothing store on fabric row near the shopping district of South Street (Philly). They had two colors, but only in one size, which happened to be my size, so I got both. These boots have a stretchy band that I can wrap up for a tall boot, or wrap low for an ankle boot. They are comfy, versatile, and ultimately can keep up with my busy lifestyle.

    • Hello Kelsey,
      Please, please let me see a photograph of your shiny red Michael Kors heels. Did the shoes help you to get a lot of work done in the shortest amount of time?
      And, what a great find. Cool TOMS shoes in your size!
      I love to thrift. You can find some true treasures. Now I will be looking for a pair of red heels to wear around the house. Maybe they will help me get more work done.

  • Mine would not be heels, I can tell you that. Cute post. We need to be reminded to stop our comparisons. And be reminded and reminded again.

    • Hello Anne,
      Mine would not be heels either.
      No matter how many times I remind myself not to compare, I still need to be reminded again.
      It is often easier for me to give advice than it is for me to believe it myself. Silly really.

  • Teresa Richardson

    I would be a pair of Sketchers walkabouts. I am very comfortable with a shoe with no heels.
    I need to go shopping to buy a pair of shoes to go to job interviews. I want a simple pair of black shoes with a very tiny heel

    • Hello Teresa,
      A show with no heel, does sound very comfortable. And, a simple pair of black shoes with a tiny heel would look amazing for your job interview.
      I hope your interview goes well. And may your shoes always be you.

  • Mary Anne

    Oh if those shoes could speak… Mine would be loafers :<)

    • Hello Mary Anne,
      I think the shoes would say, “I am a tad chilly. Do you have any more fabric?” They do look beautiful on the woman’s feet. And she wore them well. The problem was I compared and came up lacking.
      Loafers are comfortable. You are beautiful in your shoes.

  • La McCoy

    I dress like me. OR even better me on sale.
    I take a lot of flack for dressing the way i want to.
    Little family comments. Whispers. stares.
    It is amazing the way we are treated for not lining up for others expectations.
    Love you.

    • Hello Laura,
      People can be so mean. Maybe they are whispering, “Hey, did you see how beautiful Laura is today.” Or maybe they said, “I wish I could dress as cool as Laura.
      Good job being yourself Laura. Which is very special indeed.

      • La McCoy

        Nope that is not what they are whispering. Good try Pamela. I am just me. I dress like me. And push through the garbage. Thanks though.

  • Berdeane Bodley

    Well, I would be a comfortable walking shoe, usually sneakers, have just recently bought a very nice pair of more dressy walking shoes. People who wear high heels end up with a shortend achilles tendon at the back of the leg, making it impossible to put your heel on the floor when walking barefoot as happened to my step mother in her later years. Be what is comfortable not what is popular, & what a great husband to take you home when he realized you were not comfortable in your choice of shoes….. 🙂

    • Hello Dearest Mother of mine,
      You always look beautiful in whatever shoes you are wearing. Thank you for the reminder about the achilles tendon. Another reason not to walk on stilts.
      Yes, Nick is a good husband. He even puts the seat down on the toilet.