You know you are a hoarder when:

This morning I started to write  about hoarding. It was supposed to be a playful article. I was going to pretend I was a hoarder when really I am just disorganized.  After doing research on the internet, I realized, “I am a hoarder.”

Hoarders are usually disorganized, have difficulty making decisions and tend to procrastinate.

Am I disorganized? Yes,

Do I have trouble making decisions? Yes

Do I tend to procrastinate? Yes

Hoarders are emotionally attached to their things and have a hard time getting rid of them, as they may need them in the future.

I have written about not being able to find my hammer, my iron, and my glasses. Now I can not find my mind. Where did I put it? I woke at 4:15 a.m. to write, but I couldn’t concentrate because there was  clutter on my desk.

I kept thinking about an article I had read by Jeff Goins, Your Clutter is Killing Your Creativity (And What to Do About It).  I read the article again this morning,  then I started to clean off my desk.

I told my husband, “I think I am a hoarder.”

“No, you’re not a hoarder. You don’t collect food, or magazines.”

But I really am a hoarder.

You know you are a hoarder when:

1. You use a garden rake to clean your daughter’s room. You don’ t help your child sort through her toys because you really can’t help her. You can’t get rid of anything either.
2.  You have kept every pair of glasses you ever wore. I have all my old frames, I will donate the glasses to the Lions Club. 
3.  Your ping-pong table is not set up in the basement, because of clutter. Poor Joola, she is still crying.
4.  You save broken item’s you may use some day, or take items out of other people’s trash.  I did finally get rid of the wheelchair wheel I took out of the neighbors garbage.
5.  The clutter causes you to feel depressed or anxious. I felt very anxious this morning. I got up at 4:15 a.m to clean.
6. You don’t want people to come and visit because of the mess in your house. I didn’t let my daughters friend come over last week to visit because I was embarrassed by the clutter.

I don’t want to just rearrange deck chairs on the Titanic. My friend, Sabina, used that analogy to describe my cleaning methods.

I have spent days moving boxes from one side of the basement to the other side. I didn’t get rid of anything. I just moved it.

Procrastination, and hoarding have become my Resistance to create.

It is easier to spend the rest of my life in the basement staring at broken toys and objects I don’t know what to do with, than it is to write my book. I don’t want it carved on my tombstone,  “She never did write her book. She meant to. She spent her life rearranging the boxes in the basement.”

I admit I am powerless over my hoarding. My life is unmanageable.  I believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.

I can not clean my basement on my own.

But.

I can do all things through him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13

 

Today I pray for strength to put more of my basement in the van and drive it to the thrift store. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life sitting in my basement staring at broken toys.

I will write. I will start today.

Do you have trouble getting rid of broken toys and clothes that remind you of a trip to Thailand?

P.S. That is my basement in the photograph. I will take another picture when Joola, the ping-pong table stops crying.