The only way forward is to look ahead.
To think about what we can do now, today, to create the future we dream of.
To drive safely we have to look out the front windshield and not at our rearview mirror, which shows what is behind us. Our car is set to D for Drive and not R for reverse.
“Don’t look back – you’re not going that way.”
— Mary Engelbreit from a poem she wrote by the same name.
We are not able to go back in time to live yesterday. We are not like the character Bill Murray plays in the movie Ground Hog Day, TV weatherman Phil Connors, stuck in the same day over and over again, where we wake up and it is the same day as yesterday.
The only way forward is to look ahead. To think about what we can do now, to create the future we dream of.
The power of now
The moment we live is right now. This second we are breathing.
How will I spend today? My body is here, but often my mind is not here, today, focused on creating. On my dreams. My future.
Creating.
Writing.
Drawing.
My mind is often focused on the past. Looking in the rearview mirror to what is behind me.
My thoughts are of what happened to me yesterday. Last week. Last year, five years ago. Ten years ago.
Of perceived failures, and missed opportunities.
Looking at what I did or did not do. Looking at how other people treated me.
I did, I didn’t do, he said, she said, I forgot to, what if I had, why didn’t I? why did he?what did that mean?why did that happen? I did, I didn’t do, he said, she said, I forgot to, what if I had, why didn’t I? why did he? what did that mean? why did that happen? I did, I didn’t do, I did, I didn’t do, he said, she said, I forgot to, what if I had, why didn’t I? why did he? what did that mean? why did that happen?
If my mind is full of the past, I can not create my future by what I do today. There are no do-overs in the past, but there are new beginnings today.
Professor Peter Kinderman, Head of the Institute of Psychology, Health, and Society, led the research into how a person’s thinks about past traumatic events can lead to depression and anxiety. Thinking about your past as a way to learn, can be healthy. If you ruminate on the past, getting stuck on a loop of negative thoughts,
it may keep you focused on the past and unable to create your future by how you live today.
Control your thoughts to create your future.
The key to control is not in controlling external events, but in controlling your own mind.
– Epictetus
1. Be kind to yourself. Know that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time.
2. Think of what you are grateful for. The air you breathe. The sky. The rain. A flower. Snow. Dirt. A cat. A dog. The sound of a bird singing.
3. To help you live in the present moment when your mind is reliving a past event, touch an object in front of you.
Look at the color and texture. Use your senses: smell, touch, hearing, sight, taste.
4. If someone was/is unkind to you, it shows their character and not your worth.
4. Create a new soundtrack, a new inner dialog to play in your mind.
It has been weeks since I binge-watched all eight episodes of season one of Mr. & Mrs. Smith on Amazon Prime. And this morning I worked on an illustration of a cat called Penny. I can smell green beans cooking and I hear a car drive by my house, my socks feel rough in my boots and I can taste the salmon I am eating.
I will_______. I am 100%. I am a ______________. I am creative. I can do this. You got this. I believe in you. You did the best you could. It shows their character and not my worth. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. I will_______. I am 100%. I am a ______________. I am creative. I can do this. You got this. I believe in you. You did the best you could. It shows their character and not my worth. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. I will_______. I am 100%. I am a ______________. I am creative. I can do this. You got this. I believe in you. You did the best you could. It shows their character and not my worth. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
— Philippians 4:8 NIV
Fill in the blanks
Fill in the blanks. Create your own inner dialog that is kind and encouraging.
I am ___________
I will ___________
I make __________
What is on your list?
“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done.
One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow.
Today is the right day to love, believe, Do, and mostly live.”
— Dalai Lama XIV
I hope you are kind to yourself. Please remember you are valuable and have worth.
What do you do to help focus on today, and not ruminate on past mistakes?
xo
Pamela
